October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. On my album, I have a song entitled He Loves Me. It’s an ode to the psychological terror, trauma, and fear that propels people to stay in abusive relationships. It’s not a happy ending song and we know too often of how situations like this end. We hear stories of success that are often shared.
I am no stranger to domestic violence. I grew up watching my grandmother be pulverized by my grandfather. He was the sweetest man in the world until alcohol entered his system. When drunk, he was merciless. We endured many nights of her screaming and no one came to our rescue. My mother was equally damaged and brutally abused. She was a cocktail of drug trafficking, heroin addiction, cocaine use, and violence. By the time I was seven and my brother was nine, we had been exposed to so much trauma with sex, drugs, violence, and murder, our life was destined for the gutter of repeating the cycle of violence in our adult lives.
I am also not innocent. I remember returning home from boot camp in 1990 to a relationship violation. Being unable to process my girlfriend’s betrayal, a heated argument ensued and I ended up grabbing her by the throat. It was in that moment of anger I saw a reflection of the fear in her eyes that I had witnessed in my mother and grandmother. I ran out of my house and went for a very long run. I returned an hour later and she was still there. I apologized and told her I’d never do that again. I was 19 years old at the time and we are still good friends. I owned it quickly and broke the curse that my upbringing left for me. Ironically, I was abused in a relationship with a young lady and this is the first time I’ve ever spoken on it. I never shared it with friends, I just kept it to myself. It was something I pulled out of very quickly but even two months can seem like a lifetime when someone is abusing you.
Our judicial system has the most draconian laws when it comes to protecting women. There’s no surprise when allegations against powerful white men, President Trump, and Justice Cavanaugh, go ignored. We put a time limit on when victims of abuse can come forward. We often hear misogynistic comments like, “Why now, why not when it happened?” Marissa Alexander’s story is one of many where women who finally defend themselves are often persecuted by being prosecuted.
In Chicago, a woman died the week of October 1, 2018, from an incident with her boyfriend who set her on fire in August of 2018. She would never share his name with authorities. This is what my song He Loves Me is about. It’s about those women who don’t make it out and the kids that are left in the aftermath of hurt, damage, pain, and betrayal.
If you want to help someone they must strategize and get safe. Resources are as follows.
I would love for He Loves Me to be the serious anthem for Domestic Violence but I need your help to do it. Winter is coming and I would love to donate $5K to a women’s shelter in Chicago. The only go-fund-me I need is you supporting my first album entitled My Journey. I assure you if this single goes around the world you will see the fruit of me sharing your gift of support.
- Google Play ~ He Loves Me can be purchased as a single here.
- CD Baby ~ He Love Me can be purchased as a single here.
- Spotify ~ The Album can be streamed here.
- iTunes ~ Album and/or single can be purchased here.
- If you would like a mailed copy please send $15 via Zelle or #cashapp to endurer@gmail.com along with your address.
My queens of all races, all nations, all cultures, religions, please, get safe and live if love will kill you.
To learn more about me, please check me out on Claudia Parker’s Five Minutes of Faith.
