If there isn’t a friend in your life to challenge your progress and/or stagnation then you should question what friendship means to you and redefine your allegiances. If there is no one to confront you on your fears, call you on your BS, and help you to align and center your life goals and desires, again, you should question what friendship means to you. I’ve learned a lot from Desiree in the 31 years I’ve known her. She continues to champion, cheer, support, and call me on my BS. I thought I’d be a little candid and respond to her mid-year check-in questions. After all, accountability is everything!
Moments with Des!
- What did you say you were going to accomplish at the beginning of the year?
- Weight loss ~ incomplete
- Finish Hip Hope(hop) Album ~ Complete
- What do you want to complete over the next 6 months?
- 15 lbs lighter
- Publish a book of poetry, quotes, and writings
- Build a full spoken word curriculum to launch in Fall of 2019
- What did you do that worked? Why did it work?
- Finished album. I sacrificed time, effort, money, and didn’t settle for anything less than excellence.
- What did you do that didn’t work? Why didn’t it work?
- Depended on the support of others. The support is always there. However, I didn’t provide a clear vision on the details of the type of support I needed, what I needed, why I needed it, and most importantly, I didn’t follow through on the ask.
- Where did you have the most impact?
- I believe my home. Taking less time on the job and spending more time with them has been incredible. In the past 9 months, we’ve had two planned family vacations. For me, that was huge and it resonates in my relationship with my wife and my daughter.
- What did you give up on too easily? What did you learn from that?
- Focusing on school. Quitters regress and don’t progress. I’m on the progression path. This last leg before the race is complete has been met with stagnation and thoughts of, “is it even worth it.”
- Have you been apologizing for taking up space? How? Why?
- Hmm, may have to sit on this one for a while.
- What steps do you need to take to have more joy in your life during the rest of the year?
- Be optimistic, think optimistic, live optimistically, and laugh a heckawholelot!
- What is one positive change you want to actualize with your work before January 2019?
- Center in on self-esteem/confidence and believe that I am a living possibility every day. Being a man of faith vs. living as a man of faith is a distinction I can no longer afford to separate. Knowing I am great, I am winning, I am blessed, I am strong, and that I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me. Actualizing that faith into tangible fruit through music, spoken word, and the arts is how I plan to attain this actualization.
Well, there’s my mid-year wrap up folks; I hope yours is going well. Thank you, Desiree, for always inspiring.
Desiree Adaway is the President and CEO of The Adaway Group. She conducts professional and personal development seminars throughout the United States. She’s also a business strategist assisting corporations with aligning their organizational goals. Information on how to contact The Adaway Group can be found here.
While his name is Michael, he’s known on the Chicago poetry scene as Double G (G2 for God’s Gift). He’s been blazing open mics for well over 20 years in Chicago. Southside, north side, west side, east side, it doesn’t matter. He is a legend of poetic expression and authorship. On Saturday, July 21, he will release his upcoming debut album His & Hers, a blend of Hip-Hop and poetic creativity that will bless the mic and the people who will be in the building. I sat down with one of the Kings of Poetry, Double G, as I plan to do with many Chicago artist in the next year, to talk about his journey and what it means for him.
- How long have you been doing poetry?
- I started writing when I was 12. I have been performing for going on 20 years. I don’t remember the exact date but the first venue I ever performed at was Giovanni’s on 147th.
- What has been your experience on the poetry scene in Chicago?
- I have met some phenomenal artists on my journey! In a culture that is ever evolving, Chicago poetry is the one thing that has remained consistent. Over the years I’ve seen many new faces but all have left an unforgettable impression. Chicago poetry is one big family. Sure there are distant cousins, and sibling rivalry is commonplace. But at the end of the day, our legacy and the culture we’ve established are undeniable.
- Who is your greatest Spoken Word influence?
- First and foremost I am just a vessel. This gift is exactly what God allowed it to be. As much as speaking is implied in my gift it is also the ability to absorb, digest, process, and elaborate on all that I experience. When I started performing my writing style changed drastically. The structure became so much more complex. I pulled inspiration from everywhere. I wanted the stage presence of Frank Pete, I wanted to be able to paint a picture with wordplay like Just Lillie. Soulful like M’reld, gritty like Red Storm, I wanted to have Yadhna’s courage! Like Moe Mentum wanted to teach people exactly just how valuable they really are! They all showed me what this art could be. But it was Lemon (from NYC) that showed me the importance of being true to yourself and the impact it has on your work. After that, being a lyricist, I became obsessed with being as dope of a lyricist as I could possibly become. I drew influence from hip-hop artists like Mos Def, Pharaoh Monch, Talib Kweli, but through the years it was Common and Lupe Fiasco that helped my polish the craft. They taught me how to mix the art of storytelling with the lyricism and how to make complexity and cadence coexist.
- So, your album is dropping in this week. What’s the title and where can people find it?
- The album officially drops officially on July 21st. The Title is called His & Hers. Put simply, you can find it everywhere! I initially pressed up 200 copies of a physical album. So much production and the efforts of all involved made my dream of putting a physical product in someone’s hand a reality. The wonderful folks at Team At Ease encouraged me to get digital distribution for the album. It is available on 20+ outlets, either sales or streaming sites. The most common of the two is either CD Baby, iTunes, GooglPlayay, and Amazon for purchase. Your best streaming alternative is most likely either Spotify, Tidal, iHeart Radio, and Pandora.
- What is your vision for this project and what’s next for Double G?
- I wanted His & Hers to embody what I picture the perfect relationship to be. It is a marriage in which husband and wife place God above all else, even each other, while simultaneously serving each other. (His) ~ The pieces which I glorify my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (Hers) ~ is the journey I have taken to meet my future wife in addition to love letters to her!
- Getting in the booth at Studio 11 lit a fire in me bruh! Coming very soon I have two projects slated to be released in the next year and a half Lord willing. The first album will be called Jeremiah. It is inspired by Jeremiah 1: 1-10. The second project will be called Goliath: A giants submission. I will be working on both albums simultaneously. I also have a play called “A Day In The Life” I have yet to bring out. I am also currently writing another called the “Ninety9”. I am also going to work my first book in there somewhere.
- Do you think there will be a true poetic collaboration CD in Chicago?
- I honestly believe that the era of poetic collaboration has been ushered in with the release of His & Hers. Tracks like Ambassador and #Freedom are just the beginning. Hopefully, under the umbrella of The Movement, we will begin to see that change. I think that the right causes have brought us together. It is a tragedy that loss of life due to gang violence and police brutality and corruption are the spark to our creativity but is an opportunity to take ourselves and our ego’s out of the equation. The poetic collaboration will happen in the City of Chicago. It will spark a call to arms for the rest of the nation. We are called to the Kingdom for a time such as this!
I was sharing with a colleague the amount of turnover my team has experienced in a 13 month period. Of course, I internalized these things because no one desires to see their team members disappearing. I explained the training and knowledge transfer is costly, and honestly draining. She gave me a lashing on taking it personally and directed me to take a step back and view this situation from a leadership perspective.
- What are the opportunities for growth on your team?
- Have you received any feedback on your leadership style?
- What development strategies are in place for them to learn?
- Have you done a market survey to compare roles and responsibilities an aligned their salaries accordingly?
- Do you find joy in the work you are doing and the team you are leading?
After running down these points and questions, I made a statement, and she responded, “That explains it all.” At age 46 years old, I shared with her that I’ve only had four jobs in my life. She was floored. She paused…for a long time, and said, “How fortunate you are to have that type of longevity.” She’s right, I’ve always been a loyalist. Maybe blindly but I love people, but a love of people doesn’t keep people on your team. Ironically, money doesn’t either. In meeting with a senior executive recruiter and retention specialist, she came in to overview the entire layout of my team structure. We whiteboarded for a full hour on different concepts and ideas. She was floored by my ingrained knowledge and intentionality. “Tony, this (company name withheld) is the perfect training ground, but your expectation in an IT support role is unrealistic. You have two years max for people in a support role. Anyone that extends beyond that is primarily due to three reasons.”
- They have a life issue, and it’s convenient for them to stay
- They have room for growth and will take advantage of what they are learning
- They haven’t put in the work and have no transferable skills, and they are merely stuck
- They like what they do
Learning this gave perspective; employment attrition is cyclical. Everyone isn’t fortunate enough, desires to, or is designed to remain at specific jobs for long and if you’re dealing with millennials, they are thirsty for knowledge, and they often move at the speed of light through various employers until they find what’s right for them. I guess I pose all this to clear my thoughts, get your thoughts, and gather your experience as leaders, as millennials, as employment seekers. What makes you stay?
“I’ve always been an opportunist over money. Money grants access, opportunity grants expansion.” ~ ALB
Kells the Artist is beyond Spoken Word. He’s a wordsmith and a Hip-Hop artist who is destined to make waves in Chicago. I first saw this young man at Dr. Finney’s church on the South Side of Chicago and learned then he’s a member of the group Team At Ease. Since then, he has remained a part of that spoken word group and has started his own team called EPIC. I sat down to chop it up with him about life and his upcoming project.
How long have you been writing?
- I’ve been writing since I was about 7. I started taking it seriously when I found out I was actually kinda good at putting sentences together.
What was it like growing up for you in Chicago?
- It was difficult at first because I grew up in the projects of the Southside.
- I spent a majority of my life as a follower. Doing what appeared to be cool. Chicago has a certain swag I felt I had to keep up with until I started thinking for myself.
Do you have a mentor? If so, who is it and why?
- Yes, I do have a mentor. My mentor is Jesus. I say Jesus, because he’s the perfect example of the person I intend to be like.
What does EPIC stand for and what are your goals for the organization?
- Epic stands for Effectively Producing Immaculate Creativity. My goal is to cause people to believe in their own dreams enough that they actually to accomplish them.
You have a CD coming out this April 13, what’s the title?
- It’s called CloudTalk.
What is the motivation for the CD and what can people expect?
- Today’s rap music is what motivated me to do it. I will not let real hip hop die, lol. People can expect a refreshing uplifting experience from start to finish, with motivating lyrics and great affirmations.
How do you stay motivated?
- I stay motivated by knowing that no matter what I can ALWAYS do better. I know where I came from and I’ll be damned if I go back!
What is something people have assumed about you that may be inaccurate?
- Two things: First, that I’m arrogant. I have a certain level of confidence that can be mistaken for arrogance. Secondly, that I’m not shy! Since I’m a performer nobody believes I can be shy, lol.
After this CD, what’s next for you?
- Book number two. I will finally sit down and finish working on my second book.
- Where can people find you in the social media world?
Join Kells The Artist Friday at 2239 South Michigan for his CD Release and Birthday Party at 7PM.
There was a song that I vaguely remember from my childhood and School House Rock Days. It is titled, The Great American Melting Pot.
This song, though missing a colorful representation of African Americans and Native Americans, was the premise of which American culture was shaped and formed in some sense. There were no immigration papers, and it was an open policy for all who could merely arrive here by boat. I used to unnerve my brother when I would awake every morning and sing the National Anthem (let’s leave out the historical context of the reason this song was written; I desire to stay in my euphoric state for this blog). On Friday, a colleague shared that he had officially become an American citizen. Considering the demographic I serve, as a technologist and corporate motivator, I asked his permission to share his photo and his story. So…enjoy my colleague Armando in our Q & A.
ME: Armando, on March 29, you became an American Citizen, this is a fantastic journey. How long have you been in the US? Where are you from originally?
A: I have been in the US for almost 25 years. I’m originally from Mexico City.
ME: When and why did you come to America?
A: I came in September 1993 as a child. My father died in 1990, and my mother did not have any formal education. During this time the government started privatizing many factories because of NAFTA’s new regulations. My mother lost her job in the same year, and she had no other option but to immigrate to the US.
ME: What opportunities do you have in the US that were not available in Mexico?
A: One of the opportunities I did not have in Mexico was an education. After losing her job, my mother was not able to keep paying for both my brother’s and my education.
ME: Not looking for a right or wrong viewpoint, but what do you see as major cultural differences in the US vs. your home of origin?
A: I want to say a major change was the language. For me, it took me a few years to start communicating and adapting to American culture. Other than language, I noticed that in the United States, Americans spend more time in their profession, so much so that in some cases, work is first and second is family. Children are often raised more independently and are encouraged to be independent of their family.
ME: Do you think you will take your skills to your country origin in the future?
A. I don’t see my future back in Mexico. I have my family here, and I don’t see my wife and kids moving to Mexico.
ME: Some people frown on immigrants who are not “legalized” citizens. With Congress being inactive or slow on DACA, what do you recommend for DACA recipients who are here of many ethnicities and countries, and they’re striving for US citizenship?
A: To all DACA recipients, I want to share my personal story. After graduating from high school, I did not have many options to continue my education since I was undocumented. My only options were work in a factory like the rest of my family or go back to Mexico and try to continue my education, but neither of these two options was an alternative for me.
I wanted to go to college and pursue a higher education. I decided to attend my community college, and while attending college, I worked in a restaurant to be able to pay for my education and help my family. After four years I earned two Associate’s Degrees: one in Computer Science and the second in Arts. It was not an easy accomplishment. In 2010 I was able to fix my immigration status and started working in my field.
ME: You are graduating from college with your degree in Information Technology and have become a US Citizen in the same year, what does this mean for you and your family?
A: After fixing my immigration status I was able to go back to finish my BA. During this long journey with many sacrifices, I never lost faith in my dreams. With the support of my wife and my community, in fall of 2018, I will be finishing my BA in Computer Network Security.
This year also gave me the chance to accomplish another dream–becoming a US Citizen finally. This means so much to me. Now I want to keep helping my community and many other dreamers.
I want to thank Armando for allowing me to share his truly inspiriational story. It is one of many and we hope and pray, there are more to come.
Armando is a technologist for a major educational institution in Chicago, IL.
It feels like months
Where have I traveled?
A place of mystery and uncertainty
I can’t believe I am here
In this place, at this moment
Thinking, relishing, questioning
My purpose, my call, my existence
Surrounded but alone
Clinging to hope yet untethered
Trapped in the crevices of thought
I’ve traveled here before
It’s uncomfortable, that face, the reflection
Its shadow reaching out to hug me
Whispers of I love you, you have a purpose
You exist for a reason
I don’t embrace it
I turn off the light
Tears run down the mirror
I’ve been here before, it hasn’t been days
It’s been hours
In front of an empty table
Food cold, coffee bland, water lukewarm
Depression says hello
Well folks, it has been a year. So many downs and so many more ups. Yet, I thought I’d end the year on some greatness and what I have done so far.
- I set out to lose 25 pounds; I lost 10.2. That’s major yal! I lost half a size in my neck. 18.5 to 18.
- Completed six songs on my album and looking forward to working with one of Tupac’s producers in 2018.
- Spit an ill flow on my man Double G.’s album for the song “Ambassador”.
- Conducted some of the greatest young adult conversations on Christian living at my church.
- Another year with my CHAMPS mentees and POET family.
- I was promoted to Director of Information Technology in May of this year. Major career move. Growing and still searching for a mentor. Until then, The Lord is guiding as He see fits. Not sure what’s next for me but hanging tough.
- Had a very successful year at NIU. The journey towards my bachelors degree continues.
- Fell completely in love with https://beautybeyondbones.com/ blog. She really is my drive for consistency and creativity as a blogger. Keep me moving beautiful and thanks for sharing your heart and experiences.
- I dropped my first single, Soul Restoration, and video with the fabulous Restore. A whopping 48 copies sold, yet, I don’t despise small beginnings.
- I completed a pretty dope class on Fatherhood and it’s challenged me to be a more intentional parent, father, and husband.
- I will be writing for rapremnant.com in 2018.
No resolutions for 2018. I am learning to live, love, and laugh at 47 years of age. I’m putting fear in front of me as a stepping stool to faith and trust in Yeshua. I’m realizing the Creator has no boundaries. I’m fighting against depression with lots of Joy, Love, and Prayer and of course counseling because I’m unashamed. I can’t hope the best for 2018, I have to be the best for my family, my church, my job, my ministry work, my community work, and the young people and young adults I mentor. I look forward to this year. I look forward to the journey. I look forward to sharing it with you all.
Blessings and Happy New Year.
I am not a perfect dad. If the cameras where rolling in my house last week, even while in a class led by a good friend on godly fathering, you may have even questioned my day to day life. It was one of those moments when a father reacts in emotion and not under the guise of the Holy Spirit. Yet, a few hours later I apologized to my wonderful, beautiful, and intelligent daughter. 12 year-olds know how to push buttons.
Our final class was a couple of days later. “So brothers, how did it go last week?” To which I confessed, “I blew it but I grew it”. That translates to, I blew what I learned the previous week but grew in what I learned the previous week also. One of the things we discussed on being Godly Father’s was owning our mistakes with our children.
Our theme scripture comes from Ephesians 6:4, which translates in The Message Bible, “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand an lea them in the way of the Master”. In conjunction with the previous text, Proverbs 22:6 (train up a child) and I Timothy 3:4-5 where key scriptures in our development and training process. The three goals of the class are as follows:
- Educate men on the distinction between a “good father” and a “godly father”
- Provide practical principles that define godly character and development
- Create an apparatus where men can commit to being a godly father
- Culminate this apparatus with a Commitment Letter to our families addressed to the wife and children of each represented household.
My cousin Arlene raised her two children along with my brother and me. Years before she passed on to Glory we had a heart to heart and with tears in her eyes said, “I messed up with you all, especially you, and I’m sorry”. (Had to pause after crying a little myself while typing this). Ownership is so key on journey of becoming great parents. So, we’ve begun an intentional journey together as fathers. 6 men with 15 children between us have vowed to share our trials, our successes, our failures, and our financial planning for their future, with several other strategic commitments with a focus on seven developmental areas.
7 Practical Principles: A Guide to Train and Point my Child in the Direction of the Lord
by Elder Marlon Medious
- Imparting principles of life: Forgiveness, apologizing, mercy, truth, and the living the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5)
- Teaching godly habits
- Protecting against moral dangers through appropriate discipline
- Instilling daily prayer
- Leading Bible Study at least once a month in the home
- Engaging in interactive church participation
- Explaining how decisions are made regarding their lives and choices
Proverbs 20:7 (AMP) reads, “The righteous man who walks in integrity and lives life in accord with his [godly] beliefs–How blessed [happy and spiritually secure] are his children after him [who have his example to follow].”
As I close out this blog, I will share what we have in place now and will end with an image of the Commitment Letter to my wife and daughter. If you would like a template to draft your own please email me.
- We have started a five day devotional serious on Becoming An Intentional Father on the YouVersion Bible App.
- After this is completed, we will kickstart our course over 7 weeks with The Father’s Plan: A Bible Study for Dads by Robert Wolgemuth.
We are not looking at this as consecutive weeks because we realize that life and family aligns with life and family situations. However, we will be intentional in our sharing, our cause, our purpose, and our growth.
A major thanks to my brother Marlon Medious for pulling us together for this phenomenal training. He is a true friend, confidant, and brother in the Gospel.
The racial divide in Christianity is so real and a recent comparison between Lecrae and NF, in a premierechristianity.com blog, in my opinion, further perpetuates why young African-Americans are drifting away from Christianity and church “as usual”. I find it very divisive though it clearly remains unbiased in its approach to both artists. My concern is how the headline “occurs” for others. I’ve already witnessed the racial tension in a Christian Rap group on Facebook. Lecrae has done more for Hip Hop and Christian Hip Hop than most. For years he has endured attacks from within and without. Let me be clear. This isn’t a knock of Premier Christianity, a media voice for Christian thought and issues throughout the UK and the Christian world.
The blog mentions that sales of Creasy’s most recent release are down in comparison to his previous products. That may be the case, however, it is not due to his lack of lyrical skills, his verbal prowess, or his love and dedication to the Lord. When Lecrae started talking about social issues, police brutality, immigration, and issues that are culturally destroying the fabric of the “American Dream”, his white evangelical fan-base turned on him. He was told to stick to rapping about Jesus. And for those reasons he has lost a ton of support, a ton of white support. How is it you can be a Christian actor, cuss up a storm, get nude on the big screen, and there is minimal chatter and character assassination?
This is the hypocrisy of some white evangelicals. These same evangelicals go to church every week and lift their hands to what they have believed is a white-blue eyed savior, but who indeed is a Jewish man of color who would not be allowed to stay in America as a DACA recipient.
Lecrae is not without controversy. Even I am not sure why he has chosen to do music with certain artists but he is my brother. He has tried to be a Light in Dark spaces. Have any of you witnessed to Chief Keef? Have you repped Jesus in a BET Cypher heard by millions? Lecrae is my brother in Yeshua. Some Christian rappers have rightfully challenged Lecrae dude to his perceived pride and he has shared how he was called out regarding his thoughtless characterization of Christian rappers having the same sound and how it lead to him issuing an apology. Yet, he is human. As a Black Christian I have to fight battles within my own race regarding the roots of my faith, American imperialism, colonialism, it’s man-made slavery connections and Babylonian rules of Hammurabi. I have to be an apologist and defend my faith externally often in this anti-religious age. The last thing we need is the constant divide within. If you haven’t listened to his latest album then clearly you will not understand the journey of his life as a man, a black man, an artist, or a Christian. This album has met me in my dreams, my depression, childhood, my triumphs, my failures, my success, and so much more. It’s so timely and I appreciate his craft. If you want it “Come Get Me”!
NF is my dude. Lecrae is my dude. He is a man of God who I met years ago ministering at the House on the west side of Chicago. As a local to Chicago Christian rapper, it is hard for us. We are not accepted by most churches, because after all, God can speak only through a donkey, He can’t speak through hip hop. Every form of art has free reign, liturgical dance, acting, comedy, country, African, reggae, jazz, rock, heavy metal, mime, orchestra’s but when it comes to rap it’s at the bottom of the food chain.
It’s unfortunate that an article titled as such could be twisted and used to divide two brothers, NF and Lecrae. It’s unfortunate that it paints a portrait, as it occurs to me, to say who is the better Christian, the WHITE rapper or the BLACK rapper. You can view the comments in social media yourself and see why Christianity in American is suffering at its own hand, how we are ushering in a cultural phenomenon of post-modernism and separatism.
Maybe whites have simply found a Rapper (who by the way doesn’t call or paint himself as a Christian rapper, which Lecrae has been heavily blasted for), who will simply make them feel good about being white and never having to involve themselves in real authentic issues regarding race and class. Cleary, no Christian would ever talk about these issues and especially a Black one of influence. It’s simply not the Jesus thing to do…
“All these feelings of depression and doubt, you have to tell them go away” ~ Lecrae
Find The Endurer’s first single: Soul Restoration Featuring Restore on iTunes: Purchase here.
Today is Father’s Day. It doesn’t garner the attention of Mother’s Day. Restaurants don’t sell out, theaters are not packed, and Facebook post say “Happy Father’s Day” to those single mothers that had to raise the males in the family. It can be said that many fathers have failed in their responsibility and people would often be justified. Yet, it’s always easier to celebrate negativity rather than champion excellent fathers. I thought I’d share part of the story about my biological father and what he meant to my life before his transition into eternity.
I buried my dad in 2015. I eulogized his funeral. I paid the expenses until my sister covered the cost with insurance money. He had a stroke a few before his death and that was what crushed me. He had no memory of me. It reminded me of the time I ran into him in 1996 in a Burger King and he didn’t even recognize who I was. We’d spent the last few years building a relationship. In a heated argument one day he told me he didn’t owe me an explanation for why he left. He chose to live his life the way he wanted to and that he didn’t owe anyone an apology. It hurt but those words were true. Outside of giving me life, he had nothing to do with the man I’d become, or did he? When my wife took ill it was the first time he called me almost every day, short on words, “How’s my daughter doing?” When she was well, his calls stopped. I wasn’t mad, it was his way of saying, “I care”.
Because of my Christian Faith, I am bound by scripture to honor my mother and my father. It doesn’t say honor them based on how they treated you. Equally, they can be categorized as deadbeat parents that never did anything, except, they did, they gave me life. They couldn’t handle the journey of parents and as unfortunate as that maybe they still played a role in my existence. I loved my day and honored him until the day he died. Losing him was a normal part of life, but his stroke broke me in ways I couldn’t imagine. After years of missing him, when we finally got together he lost his memory. I’m glad I got to know him. I’m glad I got to spend time with him. I’m proud to call him my dad. I honored him in life, I honored him in death. We both wore white sweat socks with dress shoes and slacks. We had similar thoughts on religious views and it was amazing to know that after years of separation that there was a ground to mend our relationship by finding commonalities one within the other.
I miss him! I wish I had another opportunity to “Dance with my Father again”.
Men, enjoy your Father’s Day. Let’ go of the past and look forward to the future. Live life, enjoy the journey, be there for your children. Raise the bar.
Happy Father’s Day.
I was asked to share closing words from a relationship panel I was on with my Solace Soul Poetry family in Chicago:
“1. Is your communication clear enough where there is no doubt what you desire in a relationship? – Your Actions, Your Behaviors, Your consistency.”
“2. What are you willing to give up?”
“3. What are you willing to tolerate?”
“4. Is your communication clear enough where you can understand what your significant other wants?”
“5. Are you happy, settled, or joyous?”
“6. Are you a situational or circumstantial partner?”
“7. What’s a deal breaker that puts you in the category of situational or circumstantial?”
“8. What type of ear do you listen to critical feedback? Defensive – Emotional – Clear”
“9. In every relationship, there is compromise and change. The 8 inches you love could be hit with a severe case of prostate cancer and become impotent. The big breast you love could be hit and stricken with a critical case of cancer, and you may have a wife with a full radical mastectomy.”
“10. If love covers a multitude of sin, how much love do you have for the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
I received a call from a former coworker who works for someone what we both used to work with at another company. She has seen his comments about President Obama and is fearful for her job because she doesn’t want to say anything to him about his post, yet she’s discouraged. She’s of Mexican descent. `He’s her boss, he’s white, and a Trump supporter. I let her know I see the same post, not only from him but, from people I attended a professional development training session with from February to October of this year. I encouraged her to stay optimistic, open up a safe dialogue, and don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Meaning, keep your job and if you’re that uncomfortable find a new one.
This is the reality that we, as people of color, face every day under every president. I know and have experienced what it’s like to sit in meetings and accused of being the “Angry Black Man” while my white counterparts can throw profanity and yell across the table and its considered “how we conduct business.” I know what it’s like to experience people bypassing your position to go directly to your white boss because they don’t respect your intelligence, drive, commitment, or vision. I know what it’s like to be working and getting along with doctors in a hospital and delivering A+ service until one asks what college you attended and you tell them zero. You are treated differently. Everything you do is judged and scrutinized. But as my boss said to him, “If Tony says it can’t be done that way and he has an alternative solution then I’m going with his alternative recommendation.” I know what it’s like for my boss to be superseded for supporting me. We both laughed when something was implemented by an outside consultant for $7K, and I could have had it done in less time with a $200 investment. That’s what we’re used to. You’d rather spend money than trust what you deemed uneducated. My path in life was only different, and I’m in school now chasing what I’ll never find, a place of acceptance.
After sharing my experience with her I told her, she has a unique opportunity to get his views, opinions, and thoughts but at the end of the day, he’s a white executive and has a level of privilege and access that we will never have. It’s just the way America is, and it was built.
I also know what it’s like to be supported by whites. The civil rights movement wouldn’t have survived without our white brothers and sisters who were called “Nigger Lovers.” Our lives are linked to theirs, and for those that realized this, it was their sad duty, as James Rebb, to be murdered for supporting his black brother. I know what it’s like to be a non-degreed professional and given the opportunity to rise to the occasion. I know what it’s like to be hugged by men like Gary DeVore at Camp Rosenthal during the most painful experiences of my childhood. I know what it’s like to have keys and access codes to bank accounts and home to fix technology issues while my doctors were serving patients. It wasn’t because they had nothing to lose, it’s because they trusted me with their children, their homes, and their money.
I live in an America that can break hearts and mend souls. I live in an America where I know no politician is perfect because they are human just like me and I am not perfect. I have no issues with President-Elect Trump. He is who he is. He’s a marketing genius who just pulled off the biggest advertisement in American History. His genius has overtones of sexism, misogyny, racism, bigotry, and hatred. It’s not President-Elect Trump people are hurt or upset with; it’s those that support him. It’s those that scream “Hilary is a Bitch” at his rallies. It’s those that shout “Obama is a Nigger” at his rallies. It’s those that assaulted a young black woman at a Trump rally while thousands cheered. It’s those who’s children chant “Build a wall” in a school with undocumented Latino children. It’s those that line up with a man who is openly supported by the Ku Klux Klan. It’s those who say they are called to touch, move, and inspire, yet line up with an individual who has insulted veterans, women, the disabled, countries, and people. It’s those that snatch off hijabs from our Muslim daughters. It’s those that scribble on walls, “send those black fuckers back to Africa.” This is our disappointment in the humanity of a nation that would choose to support such a presidency. We missed an opportunity for change with Bernie Sanders; we missed and opportunity of hope with Hilary Clinton, but we missed and opportunity of love and acceptance, not by President-Elect Trump, but by those who support what he stands for today.
Open the dialogue, have the conversation in a peaceful manner. Hate will never trump love. Evil will never trump hope. Violence will never trump peace. Racism will never trump unity. Good luck President-Elect Trump, my prayers are with you in your decision making. The next four years will be the Celebrity Apprentice Live, 24/7. Grab your coffee, sip your beer, enjoy the ride! After all, this is the Republic for which we stand!
I spent six months in an extraordinary Mastermind Group this year. Lead by one of the most critical thinkers I know, Desiree Adaway, a group of men decided to take the challenge of bringing order to chaos, dreams to vision, passion and influence to fruition.
The Challenges Presented:
1. Cut out the B.S.
a. Who are you blaming for you not getting things done?
b. Who are you listening to that’s telling you, “you’re not good enough”?
c. Why are you refusing to follow your God-given destiny?
d. What are you willing to give up?
2. What do you want to Accomplish?
Over six months we delved into the what-if’s on the positive side. What if you actually have a great idea? What if it actually succeeds? What if you invested in yourself as much as you invested in your job? What if you actually lived life as you were important? All of these are great what-if’s but the challenge I found was facing the man in the mirror. How do you overcome years of being the underdog? Years of self-doubt and wrestling with self-inadequacy? Simply put, how do you write the vision and make it plan. And where does one even start? I still don’t have all the answers but I know this, until I put it down on paper I didn’t have a clue. It’s been a little over 6 months and my poetry book is almost complete. A few more edits and wow, it’s almost ready for publishing within the next 3 months.
There’s no way to tackle everything and the Mastermind group wasn’t designed to tackle everything, it was designed to get me to realize that my potential is limitless as long as I make good use of my limited time in this realm. Mastermind pushed my thoughts from darkness to light in regards to the existence of Tony Briscoe – The Endurer. It’s a fight everyday to get up, step out into the world and be surrounded by some of the most incredible thinkers I know and say to myself, “You’re one of those great thinkers”.
Not one person in my group had a desire to do business solely for sake of self. We all wanted to change the world through writing, through traveling, through philanthropy, through change and organizational management. Are you stuck? Are you stagnated? Are you fearful of success? Then maybe, just maybe, a Mastermind group should be in your future to challenge the greatness inside of you and the power that keeps you pushing everyday to excel beyond your position, your title, and your organization to become the hope you are destined to be. Focus on you for a period. A little motivational selfishness will foster a life of selflessness. Ask yourself those questions above and decide to do something about it. I dare you to dream again…
I was asked by my cousin (we actually met on Facebook) to give her keys to success as she continues her collegiate career in an online environment. I was excited she decided to continue on to a Gradate program after completing her Bachelors’ within the same year. She’s starting an online journey so I thought I’d share “best practices” that have lead to my success as an online student.
90 percent of my Associates’ Degree is from online classes. Here are a few thoughts/practices I use as templates for success. As working professionals, it’s very important for us to use judgement and wisdom when engaging in online classes.
- Finding the right class.
- Ensure your class is not a hybrid where there is a split portion between online and onsite requirement
- Ensure the class(es) you take line up with your particular goals and degree.
- Utilize your academic advisor. I would have saved about 12 credit hours early on if I had done this.
- Find out your professor in advance and do research on their teaching style. I wouldn’t put a lot of stock into professor rating sites. However, the particular link has not led me astray.
- Find out what book you need but wait for a final word from your professor, which is why I recommend finding out your instructor and emailing them in advance.
- Use Amazon to rent books. Way more cost effective!
- Download your syllabus and print it out immediately.
- Cross off your assignment as they happen
- Ensure you put all your deadlines on your calendar immediately and setup reminders
- Syllabus’ can shift often so ensure you keep a tight look on your professors announcements
- Balance your family, your job, and your education
- Be intentional in your communication. Even though you are online and not in a classroom, your home is your classroom.
- If you’re utilizing Blackboard at your Learning Management System (LMS), download the Mobile Learn App.
- Subscribe to all discussions. Email can be a bit cumbersome when people are updating but I find it valuable so I know when to respond to post
- If your class has exams, ensure you find out if there is a webcam requirement. If so, you’ll have to pay for the software monitoring system at your own cost, typically $54 – $75
- Take what you can handle. Adult Learning is a life journey not a quickie. If you are working and have a family I don’t recommend taking more than 2 classes. Ensure you adjust to the demands of your family, your job, and other responsibilities you may have.
You will either be your own best friend or own your worst enemy with online classes. You have to be disciplined. You are the professor, the teacher, the student, and the leader of your own success. I’ve had great success and I am only stressed when I don’t follow 100% of the playbook I listed above.
These are a few tips I shared with my cousin. Feel free to comment and add more.