The eerie feeling when a police officer pulls up behind you. He was behind me for about 6 blocks. I switched lanes twice and he switched lanes right behind me.

It didn’t hit me that he was simply driving to avoid the same bumps in the streets that I was or getting away from very slow moving trucks coming south on Ashland Ave.

All sorts of scenarios ran through my head.

I have seen Black men compliant get shot
I have seen Black men not resist get shot
I have seen Black men follow directions get shot
I have seen Black men show respect get shot
I have seen Black men with with a knife get shot
I have seen white men commit massacres and get taken to Burger King

Present Traumatic Stress Disorder: A psychological state in which traumatic events impact the lives of people and the trauma is constantly in motion on the human psyche due to the experiences of daily, real-time, consistent subjugation caused by cultural or environmental conditions.

As a military man and having to carry a fire arm for 18 months I felt so much responsibility wearing that uniform and carrying a 9MM, a baton, an a M500 Shotgun. The respect I have for law enforcement is the same I carried in the military. It’s high up and will always be. That doesn’t impede me standing for righteousness or justice when those sworn to uphold the law are actually empowered to do exactly what they are doing because the law empowers them to do so without penalty. We are not fighting the right fight. The fight is beyond police brutality. The fight is against racist policies that protect which protect them. Until we hold Democratic officials accountable (at least in Chicago) for not addressing the laws and policies they support we will continually have them problem. Until Republicans realize the plight in urban communities is also their problem and they are held accountable we will not see change.

Antiracist policies are the future but we need young, bold, courageous people to stand in the gap but for that to happen old, staunch, “I want my check” politicians who have been in officer for 20-30 years need to move out of the way and let the right generation move us forward.

That Chicago Police Officer eventually made a left turn and went about his business. He was simply doing his job. It then hit me that it wasn’t a police officer that killed my nephew in June of 2020. It was another Black man. I realized that in urban communities that have been marginalized, segregated, and resourceless that I walk around with dual Present Traumatic Stress Disorder. Fear of dying at the hands of a police officer as Black man and fear of dying by the hands of another Black man.

How do we move forward?