Our marriage is strong. It has always been. Even strong marriages face challenges. During my time of unemployment it surely brought tension into my home. I was frustrated on all levels. Mind you, we were not going hungry, we still had enough saving to carry us through at least mortgage and life insurance payments for five more months.
There were times I simply didn’t feel strong enough and that kind of pressure, mixed with a wife who is an eternal optimist and faith-walker was equally frustrated with my self-loathing. “You going to mope about it and keep your head down!!??” Oh snap, she has lost her marbles coming at me like that. I know my temper so it was best to remain quiet until I was able to address her approach to my state of self-deprecation and depression. I had been here before when we were engaged. I was previously unemployeed but I was single, a different place mentally and spiritually. I could conquer the world. I knew her relation to the man she married and that’s the man she wanted to see rise up. She was my cheerleader then and she was my cheerleader after marriage when joblessness hit us.
Life was indeed worth living. I knew it and I had to fight for it daily. One particular night In June I had on a good face. My daughter came home and asked how I was doing. It was one of my worse days. I had already decided I am done looking for a job after today. “Lord, I am done.” My daughter touched my hand and said. “You’re not ok. Daniel 12:12 says, “Blessed is he who waits.” Good night, love you.” She kissed me in the cheek and went to bed and I cried like a baby. Talk about child like faith. I repented for my lack of trust. There is a scripture in the Holy Bible that says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick…”. My heart was sick and that same night I pressed on my search. It was 12:30 AM. Indeed.com – IT Support Specialist, Noble Network of Charter Schools. I applied for the position. I studied the company on YouTube and their website until 2:30 AM. It was the first week in June of 2010.
The Journey Continues…